Single Men vs. Single Malts

What better way to enjoy a beautiful summer evening than with a cruise on the Hudson River? That’s exactly how I spent last Thursday night.

Following the sound of bagpipes to Pier 59 at Chelsea Piers, my friend Cassidy and I boarded a yacht for Whisky on the Hudson, an event sponsored by the Whisky Guild. Boasting more than 200 whiskies and single malt Scotches for the tasting, I was certain the event would draw a male-to-female ratio in our favor. I wasn’t entirely wrong.

While we were the only attractive women unaccompanied by men, our possible love interests left much to be desired. Three sets of potential suitors presented themselves: the ancient thrice-divorced businessmen, the Jersey Shore casting rejects, and, the best prospects, a jovial but rather vanilla pair of urologists. Which leads me to a common problem facing a woman in search of a Scotch Man: naturally unassuming, Scotch Man’s not usually the type of guy who approaches women across a crowded room. Leaving that to DJ Pauly D and the Situation, Scotch Man is much more likely to get into lengthy discussions about the distilling process with the representative from Laphroaig.

So Cass and I took solace from the unfortunate man scene in drink. Starting with the partitioned off Ardbeg booth, Cass and I sampled all six of Ardbeg’s offerings. It wasn’t my first time. I’d lost my Ardbeg virginity (he’d actually used that phrase) to Dr. Bill Lumsden, Head of Distilling and Whisky Creation for Glenmorangie, during a tasting at the Brandy Library last summer. He’d warned in his thick Scottish accent that Ardbeg drinkers were a scary lot, but I’d always relished a good scare. Given that Cass is a bit of a thrill-seeker (she’s been known to hang off cliffs with nothing between her and the Atlantic but unstable earth to get a good photo), I knew she’d fancy Ardbeg. And she did. Rollercoaster was her favorite. Uigeadail continues to be mine.

Moving on to the non-Scotch whisky offerings, Cass and I flirted with the adorable, and way too young, representative from Connemara Peated Irish Single Malt, before coming upon a very good small batch whiskey from Colorado of all places. With a toffee scent and a smooth finish, Stranahan’s is the first (legal) Colorado-born whiskey. If Ardbeg is wide-shouldered, hairy-chested and walks with a stride, then Stranahan’s, with his boyish trot, is humble and uses the good manners his mama taught him. That the distillery’s cowboy hat-wearing founder was on hand only added to my enjoyment.

Toward the end of the evening, Cass and I took a stroll out on the deck. As we drifted past Lady Liberty, the ultimate single girl, still holding her own in the harbor, I couldn’t help but relate. With my open-door policy on men, I’ve often felt like the Lady Liberty of dating. Looking at her standing there, all defiant, strong and loaded with moxie, I felt inspired. Though the realm of dating may have given me its tired, poor and huddled masses of refuse, I wasn’t ready to go isolationist.

In the great Scotch vs. Man debate, Scotch had again taken the day. Once more, I was left to wonder if I would ever meet a man who could truly beat a single malt.